A Life Lived
Posted by Chap at 3/14/2007 1:12 PM and is filed under uncategorized 
I visited my Grandmother yesterday at Goodwin House, a retirement home and hospice in Alexandria run by the Episcopal Church. Mary Walton Livingston is 92 years old and at the end of her life. So I'm writing this about her while she's still alive.
My grandmother's life has been remarkable in its breadth and its depth. She was born in 1915 and raised in the tiny crossroads of Fairfax Courthouse, the daughter of a local attorney actually named Fairfax McCandlish.
Her uncle Walton Moore, the United States Congressman, lived next door with his three sisters. He was a rural Southern Democrat born before the Civil War. Her mother Mary McCandlish was a traditional Virginia woman who refused to drive a car and never walked outside without a hat.
It was a Southern bucolic life. Grandmother drew from the best of it and then rose higher.
At 17, she left home for Sweetbriar College in Lynchburg. Graduating, she took a position with the Fairfax County Chamber of Commerce and became its Secretary. (When I was elected to legislature in 2001, I had a vintage 1935 map of the County mounted in my office). She was a professional woman before the concept even existed.
She married a Harvard lawyer named Schuyler Livingston and they bought a house on Seminary Hill in Alexandria. Within a few years, they had three children: Mary, Betsey and Bill.
Grandmother was a natural leader. As a parent, she was very active in church, family and local politics. She led the fight to desegregate the public schools and even the Little League in Alexandria -- long before anyone knew this would be popular.
With her children out of the house, she took on a new role. As a child, I remember riding in the back of the tan Buick to my Grandmother's house every weekend. My sister and I would wake up on Sunday morning to the smell of waffles on the griddle.
Every moment of her life was active. She played tennis, took dancing lessons and kept a vegetable garden (the bane of my young existence). She threw a New Year's Eve party ever year with several hundred guests. She was formal in her manner and yet totally unpretentious.
My Grandmother went back to work late in life and refused to stop. A lover of history, she kept her job as an archivist at the National Archives long after her Social Security kicked in. They literally had to force her to retire.
Grandmother began to suffer from Alzheimer's when she turned 80. Within a few years, it had changed her sharp faculties. She couldn't be there when her oldest grandson was sworn in to the General Assembly. Or to be there when her namesake (my daughter) Mary Walton Petersen was baptized.
However, she knew enough to say "Hooray" last week when she learned one of her grand-daughters was recently married.
"For I am already being poured out as a drink offering and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."
2nd Timothy, Chapter 4, Verse 7.
Chap
Chap
I'm so sorry to here that this wonderful woman may be nearing the end. It sounds like she made a very big impression on you. My grandma is 91 and I can't imagine losing her.
What connection does your family have to Walton's Mountain in Schuyler, VA and to the show "the Walton's?" My kids and I watch the old shows and have a keen interest in visiting Walton's Mountain.
Kim: Thanks for your post. Actually, my grandmother's family (or at least those not from Fairfax) hail from Saluda, Virginia, i.e. rural Tidewater. So we don't have a family connection to "Walton's Mountain" or "Schuyer." However, I drove by the Walton's Mountain store many times on Rte. 29 when I was in a statewide mode -- and bought a tee shirt for my daughter. She assumes that the mountain was named for her, naturally.
Hi Chap. I happened to read your blog tonight and I am glad I did. My professional life has been focused on caring for people in their later years of life and helping shape the way in which we provide this care - with dignity and respect for the individual. I loved your story of your grandmother for several reasons. One, my grandmothers had such tremedous influence on my own life and are/were incredible people. Two, the power of a person's life story helps caregivers see beyond the disease and celebrate the individual. Three, because we are all touched by the cycle of life - those who once lifted us now need our support. It has come full-circle. I remember the Goodwin House. Thank you for visiting your grandmother and celebrating her incredible life - here, publically. She is truly a remarkable woman.
I knew your grandmother and admired her greatly. I attended many of those New Year's Eve dinners. Will there be a memorial service?
This is a fine piece. The obituary was very well done as well.
I remember that when your grandfather died and several staff members at the Archives stopped to offer condolences while she and I were having lunch together she said that it was a sad day for his family but a grand day for him. I made the same statement when my mother died at 92. I'd prefer that this not be published in any way, I am writing simply inquire about a memorial service.
Thanks for all the kind statements. The funeral service will be at Immanuel on the Hill at 11 a.m. on Saturday, March 31st.
Will there be a memorial service for your grandmother? I was an archivist with her and a tennis partner. I beat her only once, though I am 30 years her junior. She was an exemplary person. My condolences to you and other family members. E-mail is nancy.malan@verizon.net
Yes, Immanuel on the Hill in Alexandria. Saturday, 3/31 at 11 a.m.
thanks, Chap
Chap,
I was sorry to hear of your grandmother's passing. I read it in the Post online and it was wonderful to read your tribute to her in this forum. Though I did not know her well I certainly knew your mother and many other members of your family, including your great grandmother a true Southern Lady!
Please give my love and prayers to your mother and to all of the family.
I am in New Mexico now but I certainly miss Fairfax very much and I try to return yearly. I like your family lived and went to school in Fairfax for all of my youth.
Stuart Loughborough
email: brostujohn@yahoo.com
Dear Chap,
I was hired as a summer intern in April 1971, and I remember your Grandmother's warmth and kindness during that Summer. Those were difficult days for the Office of Presidential Libraries. I was honored to have known her for that brief period. I deeply appreciate reliving the memory of her as I knew her. I wish her and her family Godspeed.
Richard Rollo
Greats blog! Intresting work.